Waiting . . . and waiting. . . .

Well I'm on maternity leave now and doing more work now then I was before lol. We have probably half way finished cleaning out the garage. We are hoping to have a garage sale soon to earn a little extra money.

Eddies room is finished we still haven't gotten the little stuff we need. Money it tight, but I'm not freaking out about it (yet). Morgan is though he is sooo stressed out going on about we have so much to do before the baby gets here. I don't see it so I'm like what? What all do we have to do? He thought for a second and just said "I'm nesting alright! and your not!" lol poor guy really has had the brunt of the pregnancy symptoms.

We have a busy week this week. We have a WIC appointment tomorrow then I have to go get the group b strep swab done (ugh). Then Thursday he has an appointment for his VA disability and Friday we have one last ultra sound. Then on Saturday he has another appointment for the VA thing and Jen is supposed to be coming over for a BBq for Madis birthday (even though she just did one on Saturday at her house which i have a feeling lunchbox was at so that's why shes having 2 but i wont go into that now). On Sunday morning Morgan is going to pic up one of his nieces in Georgetown then swing back by the house to pick me up and then we're taking her to his sisters in San Fransisco. And on that day I will be exactly 9 months.

I haven't been off work for a week and I'm already bored outta my mind. I'm just so exhausted that even if i had the money to do something I wouldn't want to.

And just for the hell of it, My giant brown noser.

Almost home free but just digging a hole.

So I've worked my last actual day at work. Now I just have a 2 hour meeting and an 8 hour shift to train my replacement. I just hope they stop harassing me now.

I'm also still stressing about money while I'm on maternity leave. Wouldn't be so bad if my car wasn't crapping out. I wish I knew someone that could throw us a little charity and fix it for us. I mean I don't mind paying for the parts but my friends husband wants 60$ to tell us whats wrong and $30 an hour to fix it.

Our only hope is for dh to get his disability soon. I know mom and dad are going to help but I hate asking them to do that cause I know they have bills too. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed financially. I really need a new job.

Loooooooong time. . . . .

So yeah it's been a while. Tons has happened. We found out we're having a boy! Morgan really wanted to name the baby after his father and I really wanted to name him after my grandfather so we compromised. His name will be Edward Gustavus. My parents wanna call him Gus, which I am OK with, I;ve been called my middle name my entire life. It irritated Morgan though. My high blood pressure magically went away when I switched from the midwife to the OB but I have been getting ultrasounds once a month just to be safe. I'm not complaining lol. Also no gestational diabetes. Yeay!! everyone was so worried cause I'm fat but I have had a perfect pregnancy so far.



This was about 14 weeks

This was 20 weeks. That believe it or not is a penis.

One of my favorites. 27 weeks. 

No doubt that's a penis!! 31 weeks.



His face. Looks like he was smiling. 31 weeks.

 Now I am 33 weeks and things are going just fine. Eddie is moving ALL the time. He is measuring a week a head but the doctor said it was cause he has a big head lol.

Our one year anniversary passed. Was nice just to two of us had a little BBQ. He wrote me a sweet poem. Nothing much really happened in April.

In May we had a chance to go see his nieces. That was nice. Went to Gibson Ranch and had a BBQ with the in laws. Got into some trouble at work which I totally deserved. I went through the humiliating meeting and did the degrading punishment but they are taking this too far. They are bullying me trying to get me to quit. I mean I've gotten written up by someone that hasn't worked there in 5 months. So anyway I have 8 days until maternity leave I just have to hold out until then. My goal is to not come back after. I've put out so many applications already. Anyway.

In May was also my baby shower. It was fun I'm glad I didn't wait until I was further along. I was so exhausted and over stimulated I felt like a little kid. It was great seeing so many friends and family. I know Eddie will be loved. My only complaint is that one friend who has been flaky since I met DH and could not be happy for us having a baby, showing up bringing a bunch of her friends getting drunk hanging out on the patio eating our food and then leaving. Really? I am so close to writing this person off totally. I deserve better friends then that.

My baby shower cupcake cake.

Dh's sisters came. One of which I have never met before.

And we played games

So far in June I have just been concentrating on getting to my maternity leave with my sanity in tact. Dh has been soo much help. He has taken over a majority of the house work. I don't know what I would do with out him. He takes such good care of me and I know hes going to be an amazing Daddy. Its crazy how much love I feel for Eddie already. To feel this much love for someone I've never met. 

I think we are pretty ready. As ready as you can be I guess. We still need some little things like hair brush and nail clippers. We have all the big stuff crib, car seat, stroller, bassinet, pack and play, changing table, receiving blankets, clothes (got some from the baby shower and a bunch for free off craigslist) bibs, and bottles (which we hopefully wont need for a while). I would love to get a swing but I know its not a necessity. I've been keeping an eye on craigslist for one for cheap.

Mom and Dad are doing good. Still on the road. The plan is late July early August they are going to stay on the west coast. Then when I go into labor they are going to go to the closest air port and Mom is going to get on a plane and Dad is going to make his way here when he can. They are so excited its cute. I get texts every once in a while saying "Grandpa struck again!" lol

Grandma is doing OK. Not better but not too much worse. I cant wait until we can take Eddie to go see her. Get some pictures and stuff cause I know she will pass before he is old enough to remember her. I'm just glad to even have the opportunity for him to met her.

The "kids" are doing good too. Simon is is usual grumpy old man. Ezra had an issue with her eye a couple weeks ago. She got something in her eye. Scared the crap out of us. Boo has sores on his ears like Simon used to get. Still cant figure out why. Simon is slowly warming up to Ezra and Boo just loves her. We just need to get him to stop digging under the fence.

Ez is getting so big. 93lbs when we were at the vet.

This is after the vet said it was just a scratch.

This is what dh pulled outta her eye the next day.

Its been soooo hot here. The thermostat in my car said 107 today. My car is over heating and my AC doesn't work. Of course this shit happens right before I go on maternity leave and money is going to be beyond tight. Its going to be a miserable summer for be being so huge and it being so hot. I'm going to spend alot of time in the bath tub and walking around half naked while i still can. I'm kinda worried about Eddie with the heat too. I mean how can you swaddle a new born with its so damn hot.

So anyway hopefully I will be able to keep up on this a little more once I go on leave. I"m off to lay in front of the fan with dh lol.

Marley

So its been a good couple of days. Just trying to relax and keep my blood pressure down. We got just dance 2 and there is work out mode on there. I know its not helping the blood pressure thing but when I have been checking my blood pressure lately it hasn't been that bad. I've only gained about 7 lbs so far with the pregnancy. I'm really proud of my self. Was really worried I'd balloon up, and well I know I'm not done.

Got the last thing I wanted to get with my tax return yesterday. This is Marley.

She's about 4 months old. We got her from a guy on CL. He seemed kinda shady but Morgan fell in love with Marley. I'm pretty sure shes a Cinnamon, which from what i read is pretty rare. You cant really tell in this picture though. They are going through their dominance stuff and shes nipped me twice. We really need to jump on that. But besides that shes a sweet heart.

On the baby front, no new to report. Have my first appointment with a real OB on Wednesday. And don't look at me like I'm a bad mom not going to see a doctor sooner, we are switching from a midwife to an OB cause of my blood pressure.

I'm off for now. We are trying to have a bon fire tonight. Gonna go eat before anyone gets here. One more picture!

Fur Pile

Quato

Had a busy week, yet didn't really do too much. We got a new (used) big ferret cage. The fuzzys seem to love it. We have been looking for another ferret. We have decided three is our number. Three dogs, three ferrets, and some day three kids. We are going to be totally out numbered lol.




The fuzzys.


Ezra got spayed yesterday. Poor girl. She did great though and all the ladies there seemed to love her. She was nice with all the other dogs before, and slept all day after. She could barley walk out of the building. Dh had to lift her up into the truck and back out when we got home. She walked into the house fine though. we put her in the kennel so the boys would leave her alone. I checked on her after 2 hours and she hadn't moved so I left the door of the kennel open for her so she could walk around a little if she felt up to it and 2 hours later still didn't move. I coxed her out and she plopped back on the floor. I felt so bad she was so groggy. But this morning she nosed me at like 3 to go potty. Such a good girl. And had been back to her normal self ever since. Now we just have to keep her from playing.

When we brought Ezra home from the vet.

I had a weird dream night before last.  They talk about women having baby dreams and they mean certain things, but what do you think this means. As a joke Ive called the baby "Quato" a could times. If you have seen the movie Total Recall you know who that is. If not its you can google it and see pictures. Anyway I dreamt that the baby was kinda coming out of me like outta my stomach. It was like still under my skin but was just like sitting on top of my organs. I had to hold it to try keep it safe and I could feel its head and body like I was actually holding it in my hand. I was trying to hold it next to me to keep it safe. It was such a weird dream. I always figured the baby dream would be something that was sweet or funny or maybe even scary but not so damn weird.

After this dream I think I will stop making that joke

That didnt take long. . .

That's how it starts lol I miss a couple days on the blog and eventually forget about it. I'm really gonna try not to do that this time.

Been pretty busy. Got a bunch of shopping done. I'm figuring I'm not gonna get stuff like a high chair or changing table at the baby shower so we got that with our tax return while we have the money. I'd also like to set up the cloth diaper service but I'm kinda nervous about it. I've used disposables before but not cloth. I don't want to waste a bunch of money if we don't end up using them.

I"m getting anxious to find out the sex cause we cant really buy to much until we know the sex. Was thinking about paying like 65$  to find out early but everyone is telling me to wait. . . easy for them to say.

So anyway I'm off to go work on baby shower invitations. Its still early so I don't have a picture for today yet. I will try to remember to post one tonight.

Busy Busy

I knew we had a lot todo today but we didnt get half the stuff done. It was a pain in the ass to find a crib. First we went to once upon a child they had tons of clothes but not much else. Though I did pick up a bath tub for $6.50 that we saw at walmart for $12. We then went to a thrift store but they didnt have anything. so we went to walmart where we got a high chair and a crib matress. They only had 2 cribs so we tried target. They had a crib changing, changing table, dresser combo on display but none in the store. We asked and he said what ever cribs they had would be there on the shelf but there were none there. So we came home to unload what we already bought. We looked on the Sears website and they had a nice one for kinda cheap, plus we got a 25% discount. Ended up getting it for $124. Most of em were in the $200 range. So all we need now is a car seat and stroller which mom and dad said they will get for us, and a swing. Well all the big stuff, we figured we will get alot of small stuff at the baby shower.

Then we went to get some groceries. Thank you to dad who paid for them he also paid for breakfast this morning. I feel bad but I really appreciate it. But pushing around that heavy cart messed up my back.

Dh put together the crib tonight and as I should have suspected something went wrong. Not because he was putting it together but because it has been the subject of many sitcoms. It looks great and he figured out what went wrong. I love him so much I hope his meds come soon. I know hes been having a touch time lately and i know its not his fault. I also know he feels bad about it but I just hate seeing him upset. I just want him to be happy.

Anyway I'm off to take a hot shower and try to get my back to stop hurting. I hope I get to see dad a little tomorrow before he leaves. I love that hes been able to stop by so much lately, wish mom could too though.

Ahh anyway I'm off. . . . .

Fireflys crib

Long day

I hate Saturdays. 14 hours of nothing, lol. But I did finally get to hear one of our girls play her guitar and she is amazing. I'm trying to find an open mic night for her. I'm gonna make this short cause I'm exhausted. Tomorrow were gonna go look at cribs. Yeay.

Cage I wanna go pick up for the ferrets tomorrow.

Snow!!

Or not. They said it was supposed to snow tonight. I think meteorologists lie lol.

Anyway today was decent. Woke up to over $2000 in my bank account. Took care of some bills, then we went out to breakfast then to the mall. I finally got maturity clothes, feel much better about that, wont have to wear sweats for the next 5 months. Got dh a hat and some jeans too. Hes been liking skinny jeans lately. I still don't get it lol.

Then a little more drama at work but nothing too important. All in all not a bad day. . . but some one still owe me snow!!

New hat

Where oh where is my tax return!

Hopefully it should be here tomorrow. At least thats what the payment schedual thing from the IRS said. First on the todo list is pay off the douche bags at the appartment complex. Then buy some big baby stuff. Then hopefully get some maturnity clothes, and get dh more clothes. There are more things but thats all I can think of right now. The bonus is that my tax return is supost to be here on payday. I donno thats about all thats exciting going on right now. People are pissing me off at work. Dh is being amazing as usual. I came home and he had finished cleaning out the baby's room.

Dont really have a picture for today so here is some crap I'm about to put on craigslist.

Background interview and rice crispy treats

Its been a nice day. We went to the book store and got me a baby sign language book, got dh a book too ("The Cavemans Pregnancy Companion") and a baby book. He got me a scrap book a while ago but this is like the one you write down all their firsts and missing teeth and all that.

I'm really glad he got a pregnancy book. Makes me feel a little better that he is taking this whole thing seriously. Not that he wasn't before but for example at the midwife yesterday I said something out preecpalmpsia, and he said "You say that like I know what that is." I said that's exactly why I wanted him to read the baby book I had. I want him to know whats going on and what to expect cause I don't want him to go into this blindly but I also don't want to have to explain everything while I"m in the hospital.

After the book store we came home and I got ready for my background interview. Its funny how even though I know I"m a good person and I know I've never really gotten into trouble I'm still nervous. I even had to give them my facebook and myspace passwords.

Got home and spent some time with the hubs. He made a great dinner and I made rice crispy treats. Cant wait to tear into those.

This will be my commute if I get this job.

Longgggggg Day

Today started off ok, went to great, turned to crap, got a bit stressful, shot up my anxiety, and now I'm trying to relax.

Had a blood pressure check with the midwife first thing this morning. Actually it was a different midwife then I saw last time and I really really liked this one and totally would have switched to her if we hadn't made the decision to switch to an ob. We decided to do that because if we are going to continue to have problems with my blood pressure i just feel better with an ob. But the second midwife took her time and explained things to us she didn't need to like my labs and stuff she was awesome. She also let us listen to the heart beat. That was amazing. So the next step is I have an appointment on March 11th with the UCD OB. Then they will set up the anatomy scan and we will be able to see the gender. Yeay.

Then we went to the bank to deposit a check we got from Comcast from when we disconnected our service. Its in DHs name so when he went to deposit it but since his account is new they told him they had to put a hold on it for 5 days. He flipped. Now yes he has combat PTSD, and he is on meds and usually stuff like this would irritate him but he would be ok. But recently he ran out of his meds, and since we moved the meds are taking hella long to get here. He has been with out his meds for about a week and a half now. So anyway he gets mad and takes it out on me. I know he didn't mean to, I was just there. I'm ok now but at the time I had no idea what I did wrong. We were going to get lunch but with the bank thing we couldn't I had some money so I was gonna get us lunch. Well it was still too early and he doesn't like McDonald's breakfasts so I asked him where he wanted to go, he just said he wanted to go home. So on the way home I said I'm hungry I want to stop and get something. I checked to see if he wanted anything again, he said no. He gave me the silent treatment the whole way home. When we got home I asked why he was mad at me and all he would say is "I"m hungry" I flippin tried. So that's what I thought was wrong. We both apologized before I left for my work meeting.

Once at my work meeting we found out who out new facility manager will be. I think it will be ok, I have heard nothing but good things about her so I'm optimistic. On the other had I am so ready to find another job. I love my job, the people I work with, but the company sucks! Too much drama and rumors and politics.

So then on my way home traffic on the freeway is at a standstill. I found out on the radio someone was on an over pass trying to commit suicide and they had half the freeway closed. I was parked on the freeway and it wasn't even my side that was closed.

So I get home and I have all this anxiety. I don't want to take it out on DH so here I am trying to get rid of some anxiety before I go make dinner.

Don't really have a picture for today so here is our Firefly <3

Our Firefly

So ready to not be sick . . . .

I was sick right after I learned I was pregnant, I had my fun with morning sickness, and now I'm getting over the flu. All this within the last 2 months. At least now I can work Thursday. I have a background interview on Wednesday with Solono County for a 911 dispatcher. I've been told the back ground process will take about 6 months so hopefully this part should be done about the time I have the baby. Then by the time interviews are over I will be ready to go back to work.

This is going to be the longest week. Tuesday I go to the midwife for a blood pressure check, Wednesday is the interview, Thursday Friday and Saturday I work and Friday is payday. Annnnnnnd hopefully I should get my tax return Friday. Time goes by soo slow when your broke.  Morgan has like 30$ to last us until I get paid and I'm craving subway something fierce lol.

The fur kids

Like the title says. . .

I don't really know what I'm doing. Here on this blog or in life in general. I kinda wanted a way to get out some anxiety about being pregnant and being a new mom but I''m not sure exactly how this will turn out. I've tried to write blogs before but I always end up getting too busy. Guess we will have to wait and see how this goes.

So I'm 16 weeks today. I think I might have felt the baby move today. I know how gas feels, I've had it several times, I'd like to think I'd recognize it. This just feels different. Its hard to explain. Just like a little jab here or there. I'm hoping that when we do the anatomy ultrasound in 4 weeks that firefly will be moving around as much last time so I will be able to see whats going on and what I'm feeling.

24 weeks left and I feel like I'm not going to be ready in time. I cant really buy anything right now (until we get my tax return and find out the sex) but I feel like I should be reading or studying more. I've read "What to expect when your expecting" but feel like I should do more. I think the next thing I buy will be a baby sign language book.

I really do think who ever likes being pregnant is a masochist. When I first found out I was pregnant I got sick. Not the morning sickness type sick but something about the mucous all over my body thickening or something gross like that. Plus we were moving and the dust and cat hair had my allergies all over the place. Then I eventually got over that and had to deal with the exhaustion and morning sickness that lasted all day. Now that that is finally going away and I'm starting to get my energy back I get the flu and I can't take anything for it.

I've also been having problems with my blood pressure. Its been in the like 160's/90's. I'm trying really hard not to stress about that too. I feel like I cant talk to anyone about this either. If I talk to my mom I feel like shes down playing it just to try to make me feel better and not worry. I don't want to talk to DH about it cause he has his own anxiety to worry about. Plus I mean this issue not only puts the baby at risk it can cause me to have seizures and even die. Scary shit.

Work bs is a whole other thing I don't feel like getting into. Talk about not stressing right now.

Well this was more then I planned on for a first entry. Guess I have a lot more the bitch about then I thought. I like the idea mom had for posting a picture a day so here is one for today.

Simon always takes naps with me. I just love his neck rolls in this picture.