Like the title says. . .

I don't really know what I'm doing. Here on this blog or in life in general. I kinda wanted a way to get out some anxiety about being pregnant and being a new mom but I''m not sure exactly how this will turn out. I've tried to write blogs before but I always end up getting too busy. Guess we will have to wait and see how this goes.

So I'm 16 weeks today. I think I might have felt the baby move today. I know how gas feels, I've had it several times, I'd like to think I'd recognize it. This just feels different. Its hard to explain. Just like a little jab here or there. I'm hoping that when we do the anatomy ultrasound in 4 weeks that firefly will be moving around as much last time so I will be able to see whats going on and what I'm feeling.

24 weeks left and I feel like I'm not going to be ready in time. I cant really buy anything right now (until we get my tax return and find out the sex) but I feel like I should be reading or studying more. I've read "What to expect when your expecting" but feel like I should do more. I think the next thing I buy will be a baby sign language book.

I really do think who ever likes being pregnant is a masochist. When I first found out I was pregnant I got sick. Not the morning sickness type sick but something about the mucous all over my body thickening or something gross like that. Plus we were moving and the dust and cat hair had my allergies all over the place. Then I eventually got over that and had to deal with the exhaustion and morning sickness that lasted all day. Now that that is finally going away and I'm starting to get my energy back I get the flu and I can't take anything for it.

I've also been having problems with my blood pressure. Its been in the like 160's/90's. I'm trying really hard not to stress about that too. I feel like I cant talk to anyone about this either. If I talk to my mom I feel like shes down playing it just to try to make me feel better and not worry. I don't want to talk to DH about it cause he has his own anxiety to worry about. Plus I mean this issue not only puts the baby at risk it can cause me to have seizures and even die. Scary shit.

Work bs is a whole other thing I don't feel like getting into. Talk about not stressing right now.

Well this was more then I planned on for a first entry. Guess I have a lot more the bitch about then I thought. I like the idea mom had for posting a picture a day so here is one for today.

Simon always takes naps with me. I just love his neck rolls in this picture.